Sydney Wildlife World

For fuck's sake, look at that mutha right there. A huge stick insect, camouflaged for effect you see, just casually hanging off the branch. "Don't get too close!!" I hear from a great distance. I turn around, and there he is, half way across the room, fearing for his life. Oh for crying out loud, it's not going to bite you. (It doesn't bite, does it? No? Seeeee. I told you).

Anyway. Moving onto more creepy crawlies. "If I wanted to see creepy crawlies, I'd open my cupboards". Isn't that giant cockroach just the cutest thing? It just makes you want to pat it. Sigh. No, I don't have any bug spray. No, I don't have a rolled up newspaper.

We come across the "Flight Canyon", a semi open oasis for all these wild birds. Yeah, they've got it good alright. Well you'd think so too, if you had a place to eat, sleep, fly around and crap wherever the hell you wanted to. The place was filled with fat birds. Geez, the size of them. They were cute and fat. They're living the good life. I felt sorry for this one rainbow lorikeet, the poor thing was literally cornered into the bushes by this male satin bower bird, who kept trying to peck it, telling it to piss off, before it does something it'll regret. It was disgusting. The lorikeet looked so helpless, backing itself into the bushes, but still eyeing those pile of seeds. We couldn't tell if it was injured so it couldn't just fly off, or if it was just dumb. I mean, honestly, give it up already. Sure the bower bird had some seeds on his little stone plate that the lorikeet kept trying to get at, but there's plenty more where that came from elsewhere? Or maybe it was just in love. Awww.....Pathetic. You're not even the same species, ya fool. Hmm, it's gotta be those seeds.

We finally come across this butterfly sanctuary, with all different sized and coloured wings fluttering around peacefully, landing on everything and everyone, it seemed, except me. Damn it. Why don't you like me? Alright, that's it. We're not leaving until we get a decent butterfly land on me for more than a second, by god, we'll be here all night if we have to.

So I hold out both my hands, palms up, trying not to get my hopes up, and out of the depths of the forest, this graceful creature comes floating towards me, and unbelievably, it's landed on my fingertips, spreading its beautiful wings out on purpose like it's showing off. I was feeling completely awestruck, just staring at the thing, wishing time would stand still. I felt so privileged, thank god I had someone to share this with. Apparently it's not the usual thing for them to spread their wings out like that when it's resting, it usually does that when it's courting. We later discover it was a varied male eggfly.

It attracted the attention of other people, wondering how they too could have a butterfly land on them. I even had this woman, seemingly a professional photographer, based on the lens she used, take a photograph, saying how beautiful it was. Its left wing had been torn slightly, been in a few courtship battles, probably. Though I can't imagine something like that fighting. It's so gentle.

Just makes you appreciate nature all the more. Except maybe the creepy crawlies.