That must be the happiest kid in the world

Gavin's Mom: Gavin, don't you already have this game?
Gavin: No, Mom, you idiot! I have Bloodstorm, and Bone Squad, and Bloodstorm II, stupid.
Gavin's Mom: Oh, I'm sorry, honey. We'll take a Bonestorm.
Gavin: Get two. I'm not sharing with Caitlin!
Bart: (dreamily) That must be the happiest kid in the world.

I keep replaying that scene over and over in my mind, even though I can't see what it's got to do with this year's Christmas party. This year we were living it up. Or as they say, we were big pimpin' it. Ugh. That just sounds wrong. Anyway, those of you who've read over my past entries may well recall the craptastic Xmas party we had last year. And that was a shocker if there ever was one. Couldn't even fall short of this year's if it tried.

I'll tell you what happened, right. We all met up at Bronte, and the weather was a little overcast, but it was fine enough. We strolled down the paths along the cliffs towards Bondi Beach. The best part was the sound of the waves and that fresh ocean air. Every few hundred metres there were people walking their cute puppies. It's a good pick up trail. The people living in those beachside apartments don't know how good they've got it, the bastards.

So we all managed to make it to Campbell Parade, to this place called Sobo. Our people were already there trying to hook up with each other, and taking advantage of the all expenses paid champagne cocktails and canapes. I even managed to get two glasses of Veuve Clicquot. Wouldn't mind some of that again, that's for sure. Yes, well of course there was a tab, but who's counting? Next thing you know, everyones seated across 5 white tableclothed tables, and sharing entrees of seared scallops and quail caesar salad. Well lah dee dah I hear you say.

Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking. We had a choice of three mains - potato and sage gnocchi with butternut pumpkin, seared swordfish with tomato, basil and olive salsa, and lamb cutlets with wilted spinach. The menu was edited especially for us. So I went with the fish, and it was undoubtably the best fish I've ever had, it was a decent sized portion, and boneless and seared perfectly, it didn't have fishy aftertaste, and it had the softest white flesh that just melted in your mouth. Well worth whatever the hell it cost.

So we all had to sit bloated for a while, still drinking vast amounts of alcohol, to keep our liquids up, don't you know, while we waited for dessert. Dessert was also a shared affair, trying to keep the cost down I suppose. It was a nice little taste tester of nougat parfait with honeycomb, pistacio pashmak and rose petals; then baked to order caramelised apple tart, and then a cheese platter with probably some of the nicest french double brie I've had for a while. Are we hungry yet?

When they presented the bill to the boss, he was understandably surprised. With everyone partaking freely in the "free" alcohol and food, well... what's two thirds of 10 grand?

Oh well boss, it is only once a year... won't you let us live? By this stage, everyone was alcohol fuelled and up for something, and besides, the sun had come out. Word had got out that the boss had hired about 5 Harley Davidson riders to ride us all to Watson's Bay. I got on one of those double seated ones (no, not the sidecar ones, why does everyone think that?) with another girl, and we were sped down the streets. It was just amazing, just like how it is in the movies. It was so thrilling, being literally centimetres from the road, and nothing surrounding you. All I had to hold onto was the armrest. No wonder it's such a thrill for them. Only now do I understand.

Then we boozed up again at the Watson's Bay Hotel/bar. Well there's not much else to do there besides, actually, but it is beautiful, I have to admit. You could see the city line from where we were sitting underneath the outdoor umbrellas on the rooftop. It was probably one of the most relaxing times of my life.

That must be the happiest kid in the world. So that's where it comes in.