My first epic ride

If I had any idea what I was going to be in for the Sunday before, I would've either tried pulling out, or complained about it the whole way. As it turned it out, I only really started complaining about it half way through, so it wasn't a total loss.

God, what's she going on about this time? It sounds painful. Well, yeah it was, but it was still a fucking amazing experience, even if it did piss me off at times. Sometimes it makes me wonder how I managed to get through it, considering that only a few weeks ago, I didn't even know how to ride a bike.

Now, my details are going to be a bit vague and sketchy and I might not have everything in sequence, since it’s been nearly two weeks, and since Vay was being annoyingly secretive about our whereabouts, even though I kept asking him where we were going or even just where we were for god’s sake. No, he just expected me to tag along, oh, yeah sure, like I do these rides all the time. “This is nothing”, Vay was still trying to convince me. Nothing my ass! But here goes:

I had just woken up and was still in my pyjamas when Vay comes over, annoyed that I hadn't turned on my phone, let alone gotten ready. Alright, calm down. Geez. It's 11 o'clock on a Sunday morning, you're lucky I'm up this early. I geared up and got ready in record time (even managing to eat a winner's bowl of congee for breakfast), and we left around 11:30.

Lisa: Oats are what a champion thoroughbred eats before he or she wins the Kentucky Derby.

Homer: Newsflash, Lisa, Bart is not a horse!

We coasted down to the local shops, (in my own area! – never had I imagined I’d actually ride a bike in these here parts, god it felt surreal) and landed near the bus transitway station. Vay’s friend Yara met up with us after taking a detour, on his own lah dee dah Avanti road bike. He’d already ridden a fair way himself to get to us, but we had to start somewhere, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to go where he was. Or was I? “Nice gloves” he said. Hee hee, I had no idea who Louis Garneau was, but I wasn’t going to let that on. “Oh, these old things? Why, I wear them all the time.” (They looked brand new).

Vay gave me a quick crash course on how to use my gears. I had these funny gears that I was supposed to switch when going up or down hills, as the need arises. It was all a bit confusing. I did try them out later though, but eventually stuck mainly to one setting.

Homer: Just because I don't care doesn't mean that I don't understand.

We followed the dedicated cycleway, which was paved concrete. Little did I know (thanks to Vay), we were heading towards the reservoir and there was a point where we had to try to ride up this freaking massive incline (one of three big hills that I couldn't be bothered changing gears for), and I just got off and walked my bike up. I ride for leisure, damn it, I told Vay. I remember trying to catch up to the others, and losing my grip on the brakes, and just kind of crashing over to one side. It wasn't bad though, I just didn't have a proper braking technique, or so I thought. And all Yara could say was, how's the bike? Well, I've fallen over in a heap, but Greeny's doing fine, thanks for asking, Yara. Geez, I'll give you how's the bike.

Anyway, the fun parts were riding through these big tunnel like things, I think they were water supply channels or something. It was like something out of Terminator 2, except that we were on bicycles. And we weren't being chased by a certain T-1000 in a fucking semitrailer. Alright, fine, so it was just me then. I loved just gliding through, I was surprised it was just us.

One of the most prettiest scenes was when we were cycling through these winding pathways in one of the parks, past people walkin' their dogs and mothers pushin' their prams, with the birds chirpin' and the breeze blowin' and the mosquitoes bitin', in the fadin' sunlight... I remember that one because there was a particularly curvy track, and there was a little bridge that went across a stream or something that we came to. Vay called out something to me about slowing down and getting off and walking if I needed to, as the bridge was quite narrow, and then he was speeding off ahead of me. Pfft, I thought. I can do this. That bridge doesn't look so narrow. What's he talking about? And then all of a sudden Greeny decided to slam into the side of it as I rounded the corner a wee bit too fast. Fucking FUCK! That's all I could say, really. I had to extract myself from Greeny as her front wheel and handlebars were caught between the bridge hand and knee rails. "Help me, hun", I whimpered, although it might have come out sounding like, "don't just stand there, ya bastard, get over here". Vay was looking on from afar, as if contemplating whether it was safe to approach. "Stop being a wuss" he was probably thinking, the bastard. He vaguely noticed I was in pain, and would probably get a massive bruise on my knee. (Which is still purple, TO THIS DAY). The crazy thing was, this time I was actually worried about Greeny. I thought that her wheels weren't turning properly. Yara's comment echoed in my mind..."How's the bike?" I kept swearing, mostly angry at myself, for making a bad decision (possibly also at Vay for standing there like Cletus the slack jawed yokel), and angry that I'd lost control of Greeny for the second time. (Later on, Vay would remark how such a nice girl as myself could swear like a sailor, it's like two girls for the price of one). Luckily Greeny was alright though, no damage to her paintwork, or her wheels, thank god. Now we just had to catch up to Yara, who had no idea I'd just crashed and burned again. Which was just as well I suppose, he'd probably ask about the bike again. No, just the bike.

I wished we could linger longer in the peaceful surroundings, but we had places to go, things to do. Things seemed ok with Greeny, so we carried on, at one stage I couldn't believe I was riding past a temple I'd usually go to during Chinese New Year (why, I know that place! God I can't believe I've ridden all this way). We finally had a pit stop at KFC for a late lunch. (Anney: "But doesn't that defeat the purpose of riding all that way?") Well, I wasn't riding to exercise, god no, and you'd be amazed to know what carbs (bread roll, fries), protein (chicken), fatty acids (chicken skin) and even minerals (pepsi) you can get from just one KFC meal. Mmm - KFC.

Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Skinner: Uh... oh, that isn't smoke, it's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. [rubs stomach] Mmm - steamed clams.

Sitting around, feeling full, it was all finally catching up to me. Vay finally dropped the bombshell about how much track we had cycled/glided/um, walked over, and I just didn't want to continue on. I was feeling more of the pinch, literally, in my hands and crotch, which were by that stage, throbbing with pain. I wanted to catch the bus home or something. That's right, I wanted to chicken out. "Well you can't stop now hun, how are you gonna get home?" Ugh. I didn't have a choice, I was FORCED to ride home. Well, back to Vay's place anyway, where we borrowed his brother's car to take me home, which was GOOD ENOUGH for me, damn it.

It was only while writing this post that I’d decided to look up the cycleway map, and I realised we’d done a great big fucking loop covering nearly 30km passing by or through at least 12 different suburbs. 30 Farkin Ks! (As Vay might call it, but EVEN THEN he's STILL insisting that's nothing, he just did 60 k's the other day without breaking a sweat - yeah, whatever hun). No wonder Vay didn’t want me to know where we going, and how long it would take. Yeah, not including taking breaks, it only took us oh, I don't know, 3 HOURS of non-stop biking action. Which doesn’t sound like much, but let's see you try riding with a sore crotch and thumb joints. Which are still sore to this day, but you don't hear me complaining about it.

Update 25 May 2010: We managed to get my brake levers adjusted to fit my hands better, and all it took was just a few quick turns of the allen key, even Vay was impressed. That's right, now they're fine-tuned hun, jealous? I haven't had a chance to test it out again, but I'm sure it's heaps better than it was when I was riding, and it won't stretch my tendons so much. I've even got my first cycling jersey to complete the look. All I have to do now, is wait for the next sunny day. God I'm a legend!